Hypochondriac
by Lil' Ass Kicker
Summary: My friend dared me to try write a one shot in an hour and I did it in 55 mins, here is the fruit of my efforts.


**I do not own Once Upon A Time, Killian Jones, Emma Swan, Elsa, Liam I own nothing basically. I don't own the cast, crew, writers, producers, plot, any of it.**

 **So... my tragedy isn't over as I now have a throat infection and might not be able to go see Jess Glynne in concert even though I've been looking forward to it, especially after a shitty month- it's all that's kept me going. *Sad Face* Anyway, we'll see what tomorrow brings.**

 **Hypochondriac**

 **3rd Person**

Pressing the button on the remote angrily, she changes the channel on the TV before deciding she'd had enough and stands, she lifts herself up off the couch and walks the short distance to the kitchen.

No shock at all, her roommate Elsa is stood making some kind of cake- mixing the batter over the stove- and Emma's nostrils fill with the heavenly scent of the already cooking ones. "Yum, that already smells amazing, what is it?"

"Lemon drizzle cake." Emma licks her lips, it's her favorite cake of all. "Since you caught your man person in your recent case," Emma rolls her eyes at Elsa's cluelessness but ignore it in favor of going to the fridge for a bottle of water. "I figured I'd make your favorite cake."

Emma pulls the bottle she was looking for out of the fridge, grinning at her friend and going to leave to room. "Aw thank you, I'll eat it all to express how happy- OW!" Emma crashes to the floor as she bumps her side against their counter, catching her hip right on the corner and then tripping over her own to feet.

"Oh my God! Emma!" Elsa stops what she's doing to help her friend up and Emma rubs at her side, wincing. "Does it hurt?"

"No, Elsa, it feels like a feather on my side- OF COURSE IT HURTS." Emma laughs to herself, rubbing at her side, Elsa gets a glimmer in her eye and rushes to turn off the stove. "What are you doing?" Emma asks as Elsa rushes around, grabbing her jacket and shoes and handing Emma hers- confused and still having pain in her side, she puts them on with no fight.

"C'mon, lets go!" Elsa pushes her out the door, grabbing her keys on the way out and pushing Emma all the way down the stairs to her car- Emma protesting the entire way.

Once they're driving, Emma finally gets an answer and she nearly screams. "HOSPITAL! WHY?"

"You're hurt, hospital is the best place for you-"

"I scraped my side, you crazy- ELSA! Take me home right now, this is stupid-" Emma protests and Elsa ignores her all the way until they're parked up, Elsa pulls her out of the car and practically drags her into the hospital.

Hand still held to her side, where yes- _she's pulled some skin off but thats it-_ and sighing all the way until Elsa is once again dragging her to sit down on the waiting room chairs. "I don't need ER." Emma scolds, Elsa shrugging and her gaze keeps on drifting around. "Let's just go home, I'm fine."

"Then why are you still holding your side?" Emma retracts her hand and Elsa rolls her eyes, making Emma slump in her seat.

"Just shut up."

* * *

They wait for an hour before a man calls her name and she limps, yes it still hurts it was a sharp corner, up to him and he helps her hop onto a bed- for people who are actually sick, not her stupid side graze- before asking what the problem is.

"She's hurt, she needs help." Elsa declares and Emma all but pushes her out of the secluded part their in, a curtain seperating them from the rest of ER, by her head. "I'll wait outside." Elsa rushes out of the curtain.

"I'm so sorry," Emma begins at the handsome doctor raises an eyebrow, _where did that come from?_ "She's insane, I grazed my side against the corner of the kitchen counter and she'd diagnosed me with some kind of infection."

To her surprise, instead of scolding her, the doctor laughs and leans against the wall. "Why didn't you just leave?"

"She's crazy and would have dragged me back in, so please just give me the all clear," She glances at his pin which has his name. "Killian Jones and I'll be on my way."

"What if she's right?" Her eyes widen at his grin. "What if its life threatening? Thats poor hospital care if I don't check and it's kind of my job to look after you, so sorry but not sorry, may I check?"

Emma huffs and nods, laying down on the- rather comfortable actually- cool leather bed and turning on her side to face him, lifting her shirt just enough for him to look and he tentitively touches the spot where he can see a red mark. She hisses at the contact and he steps back, looking apologetic. "Sorry, lass." She shrugs and lets him continue, wincing if he accidentally presses too hard or hurts her in some way.

"Well?" She asks when he's stepped away, smirking at her and he waits for her to fix her clothes and sit up before answering. "Will I die, doc?"

"No." He grins. "But I do suggest Sudacrem."

"Nappy rash cream?" Her jaw drops and he chuckles, leaning against the wall with that ever present grin. "What the hell? Unfortunately I don't have a baby so I haven't got any, and it's five o'clock on a Sunday- so I can't-" She gets cut off when he pulls a small tube of it out of a drawer and hands it to her. "Thanks."

"That's all, Swan." He winks, opening the curtain again and helping her jump off the bed- ignoring the stares she's giving him. "Hope you get better."

Stepping out of the little part they were in, Emma spots Elsa speaking to another Doctor- one that looks suspiciously like Killian and she raises and eyebrow when Killian's jaw drops, also staring at the two across the room.

Elsa seems to notice them and the pair walk over to them, Emma and Killian sporting matching looks of shock/ annoyance. "Elsa, o'friend of mine..." Emma trails off, holding up the tube she was given. "Sudacrem, happy now?"

"Yup! You're not dying, yay." Elsa turns back to her previous company. "Looks like thats my queue to leave, Liam, nice to see you again." She sticks out a polite hand, which he takes with and smile- Emma can see Killian smirking and nudges him with her elbow, making all the air leave his body in surprise.

"Thanks, Doctor Jones." Emma says as Elsa goes to leave. "For the cream..." He nods, giving her a grin and a smirk. "I'll let you know if it gets worse."

"With any luck, you'll live."

* * *

It's a month later and Emma has been to the ER twice more, once for when she stepped on a hairclip and Elsa thought it was a nail- Killian laughed at her for that one- and once for when she slipped in the shower but no harm was done- again, Killian was amused to find a sopping wet Emma in his workplace, covered by a tank top that clung to her soaking wet chest and he'd given her his discarded coat to wear to cover herself when people started staring.

Again, she's sat watching TV while eating take away chips.

 _"It's not your fault... They won't take you to the vet, you're obviously not their favorite pet."_

Emma groans, throwing a chip at the TV in annoyance. "Wish I was Smelly Cat, maybe then she'd leave me alone." She looks down to find her take out is all finished and she mourns the chip she threw at the TV, cursing her decisions and standing to throw away her rubbish.

On getting to the bin, she finds it full and takes out the trash, walking down the stairs to the ground floor where the trash chute is- throwing it down there and walking back up. However, on her way up the stairs, she trips up one step and cries out as she steadies herself- hurting her hands at the force she uses to hold herself up.

"EMMA!"

"Shit." Emma sighs, looking up to find Elsa with her car keys already. "Really?" Elsa nods, and Emma can see an evil glint in the woman's eyes as Emma limps down the stairs. "I hit my hands, stubbed my toe on the step is all."

"Still!"

* * *

Killian can't stop laughing when he sees her, pair of slippers on and her PJs, and offers her his jacket again to cover herself.

There's one plus side to these trips, Killian Jones' jacket smells amazing and if she can manage to accidentally take it home, go to give it back when not 'ill' and ask him out, she'd be very happy.

Apparently Elsa has found a plus side, always going to chat with Liam- whom she learnt is Killian's brother, _no wonder they have the same eyes_ \- until Emma and Killian are done.

"All I've learned in this past month," He helps her hand, frowning at the state of cracked skin on her hands and she walks- perfectly fine- to follow him. "Is that I shouldn't leave you alone with corners, hairclips or stairs... or showers."

She hops up on the stupid bed again and hugs his jacket closer to her when he closes the curtain, a brush of air making her cold and he looks apologetic before turning to her with a grin. "I'm clumsy, sue me."

"Why are you in today?" Killian asks and she sighs, biting her lip before answering.

"I fell up the stairs, hit my hands and stubbed my toe."

"Life threatening." He comments, making her laugh before reaching for her hands- taking a step closer to her and she sucks in a breath at the gorgeous smell that wafts her way- and gently stroking down the broken skin. "Painful?"

Emma shakes her head, and he reaches down for a cotton ball and a little bottle of water- squirting some on the ball and wiping it softly across her skin, she winces a little.

Killian looks up to see if she's okay at the noise, before realizing how close he is and going to step back but she just huffs while grabbing at the blue doctors uniform he wears and smashing her lips against him. "Stop apologizing."

"Sorry." She glares and he just kisses her again, making her wrap her legs around him from her seated position to pull him close. "Woah, lass," He pulls away, making her frown. "In ER, not a bedroom. I know the bed is misleading, but that doesn't happen here." She smiles, pulling him close once more to peck his lips before letting him go.

"Will you go out with me, Doctor Jones?" He smiles at the formality and nods. "Good, then we can have sex." She pats his cheek as he looks flustered, grinning at his nerves. "Oh you knew it'd happen."

"A fella likes to be courted first, love." He winks and she jumps off of the bed, pulling the jacket closer to her and reaching into the pocket to pull out his phone- which he wonders how she knew it was there- and unlocking it, honestly he didn't have security on it, and entering her number.

"There, now you can't back out." She grins, handing him his phone. "Girl has to make sure, especially when as clumsy as me, I may fall and miss our date and you'll have to come look after me."

"You do know other doctors work here too, right?" She chuckles, nodding before pulling him close again and he starts to protest. "As much as I hate to say it, I have a job, someone could be dying now and I'm not there-"

"I'll die if you don't kiss me, then Elsa really will need to bring me in." He sighs and allows her to pull him to her, pressing a tender kiss to his lips and gently turning it around so he can push her against the wall. "Quick make out session?"

"No." He pulls away, leaving her leaning against the wall. "I clock off in an hour, can you wait till then?"

"For you, Jones?" She nods. "I'll wait all day."

* * *

They walked out holding hands and she ignored Elsa's grin as she dragged the woman out of the hospital, only to get some coffee and return to wait for him- where he grins as she holds out a hot chocolate for him, just as he walks out after finishing.

As if sensing their need to be alone, Elsa drives them back to theirs before announcing she had dinner plans and rushing out the door. She leaves without her keys and Emma hides them in the light beside their door, laughing at her friends antics as she's telling Killian about how many times Elsa threatens to bring her to the ER over dinner.

Over breakfast the next morning, she falls and drops a plate on her foot- making it bleed and glass gets stuck in it, but Elsa doesn't bat an eyelid as she watches Killian help her clean it, eating a piece of toast at the counter with a giant grin.

Killian is as confused as she is by the notion, but chalks it up to him being there, he leaves later on that day with Emma for lunch and they part ways that night with a promise of a date soon.

Five months later and hundreds of Emma clumsy accidents later, both around and away from Killian, with no trips to ER, Killian asks her to move in with him and she says yes- grinning and kissing the hell out of him. Elsa comments to watch her and he announces that he lives alone in a bungalow, so stairs aren't an issue, making the white haired woman pleased.

After a year of dating and a ring on her finger, still no hospital visits and she's done way worse than stub her toe. Killian still thinks it's cause he's there and she's perfectly okay with letting him hold onto that fantasy, until...

One Tuesday about three weeks until the wedding and she's throwing up out of her eyeballs and fainted in the middle of lunch with Elsa, she finds herself laying in bed at home with Killian and Elsa leaning over her- arguing over something. "We have to take her to hospital, she fainted!"

"She's fine." Elsa shakes him off and Emma's fiance growls, making her open her eyes fully and he notices her- stumbling over and checking if she's alright.

Its after she faints again the next day that Killian finally takes her, Elsa protesting all the more that it was probably just the heat, and they discover she's pregnant- they don't tell Elsa and instead decide to test why she didn't seem bothered before.

"Well... what's wrong?" Elsa asks, hands on her hips while Emma sits on hospital chair- waiting for her discharge papers with a bored frown on.

"Oh... it's something to do with high blood pressure, doctor says I should have come to hospital earlier, I could have like fallen and hit my head and gone into a coma or anything-"

"WHAT?" Elsa squeaks, looking rather upset, which makes Emma and Killian feel awful but screw it. "I knew I should have taken you! I thought 'oh, she'll be fine, the only reason I took her before was cause I was a bit freaked about her hitting her side but then I saw that you two liked each other and so carried on until you were dating, if I do it now she'll kill me!' but no! I'm such an idiot-"

"Wait," Killian stops the woman. "You brought her to me because you were _matchmaking?_ " Elsa nods and he just grins. "So it has nothing to do with wanting Liam?"

"Well that was a plus, I knew he worked with you and thought I may see him, when I told him on the second visit why he made sure Emma always got you for a doctor. He was fully on board."

"And so... at my fake peril and waste of insurance dollars," Emma starts, looking slightly impressed and half peeved. "You got me a boyfriend and one for yourself." Elsa nods and Emma rests a hand on top of her flat stomach- taking a deep breath while Killian is chuckling.

"Wait, so it's not high blood pressure?"

"No." Emma smiles, taking Killian's hand and squeezing it before turning back to Elsa. "I'm pregnant."

Elsa scoffs. "Knew it."

* * *

 **My friend dared me to try write a one shot in an hour and I did it in 55 mins, here is the fruit of my efforts.**


End file.
